My sin was very subtly (but constantly) pointed out as time went on not to keep me at the feet of Jesus, but to keep me confused and feeling small compared to the kind person calling it out. (What would I have ever done without their helpful insight into my weaknesses?) I kept asking myself, how did we get here?. It has nothing to do with exposing him as a person, but everything to do with re-constructing my own sense of reality, up from down, right from wrong. I know His timing is perfect but Ifeel irritated. I just started listening, so I haven't gotten to the wackiness about the boyfriend, but the sister is A LOT. Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) | Something Was Wrong. I have yet to find another one that I enjoy as much! If I was upset, hed wind up saying, maybe I did ___ to you [yet to be proven], but YOU did ____, ____, and ____ to ME!. One thing at the forefront of my thoughts right now is the fear I know a lot of women around me are facing, and the choices they are making in the midst of it. For free and confidential resources, please visit: somethingwaswrong.com/resourcesS15 Artwork by the amazing Sara Stewart @GreaterThanOkay - Instagram.com/greaterthanokayTo purchase SWW merch, please visit: represent.com/store/somethingwaswrongSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Heres the biggest revelation of many this summer: I am deserving of my dreams, and on top of that, Gods for me are bigger. In my case, since Im obviously the main character here, Im in the checkout line at the grocery store and the cashier definitely says, Nice day to start a blog!, Cashier: I said nice day for a jog! What an injustice. When Sara got engaged, she thought that she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. Stress, family drama, work, something was always burdening him. This is my neighborhoodanyone know his name? It says, Youre safe here. There are a few reasons why, but one of the most problematic is the host both explicitly and implicitly stating that abuse is a gendered phenomena always in the direction of males abusing females (including in non-physical methods of abuse). Outwardly hes a good person, Ive heard or read multiple times. But she is, self admittedly, in a bubble when it comes to her upbringing and her family. I have a feeling she's had to be the family empath, which made it a natural role with the narcissist fiance. Playlists from our community. (Do you kinda feel that? A gaslightingvictim is fed just enough truth to make them more accepting of a lie, like hiding a dogs medication in a treat. Disturbed and confused, Iridian decides to seek the truth for herself. 00:02:56 - When Sara got engaged, she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. So many of us are so focused on getting our stories out there that we forget that becoming known has consequences. Dick is an abuser -- but also isn't Sara's family dynamic a bit intense? Eventually, I became one of those things weighing him down and needed to be more aware of it (according to his friend Kimmy Jane Powers). That type of restionship is one that I would run from solely because of her family. I said when can we start?! Until one week before their wedding when she learned - something was wrong. 2. Anyone who has tried it knows it teaches him to cower and hide the next time he messes up and this defined my idea of how God saw me for far too long. Just before that, though, I had been on my piano playinga Chopin Etude Id been assigned my very first year in college, as a wide-eyed homeschooler walking into classrooms for the first time since elementary school. Shows > Something Was Wrong > Season 14 Exhibit C 13 Episodes Season 14 Also Listen On More Options Social Media Pages Share This Show All Episodes Season 14 His Moods Really Swing E S14 E1 Oct 20, 2022 43 min *Content warning: This episode includes discussion of rape, disordered eating, emotional, sexual and physical violence,. Ive seen it reap destruction and keep people captive from chasing their potential. Only when that phrase appears on page 3. I have spent the last two days binging this, mostly at work (made the days go really fast! Now I have on record that as he calmly gazed into my eyes and held my hand across the candlelit table, resolving to love me well while navigating these learning opportunities for me, my churning stomach and racing heart were right. He didnt just splash those people; he completely drenched them and had to have ruined their days. First, however, I had to allow Him to pick up the pieces of a shattered sense of self, and reconstruct my concept of what I have to contribute to the world around me. It is that simple. Looking back, until my current love, no one was really worth it. Claim and edit this page to your liking. 37.2k Followers, 1,197 Following, 18 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Something Was Wrong Podcast (@somethingwaswrongpodcast) In past blog sites I wrote about random f See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Find similar podcasts. Ashley Abercrombie: So youre a ghostwriter? I had been duped and thereis something better. Its not gonna just go away.). Amy shares a personal story of pain, healing, survival and her search for justice. i just found this podcast this week and I am racing through it! Used fake people to pressure a woman to marry him? I dont feel wanted here. The night we dropped the L bomb and said we loved each other, we didnt technically say it. Dipping my toes in some frigid waters!) They looked too harsh. I would also have to memorize the entire piece well enough to not freeze and draw a blank in front of crowds. Their pain is still painted in subtle strokes across their social media posts. One of many is a phrase that loves to sneak its way in if I dont fight it. S1 E2: It Was Weird. It scared me numerous times. We were at Blue Bottle in Oakland when he called someone fat out loud well within earshot of that person, and I began scanning the doors for my exit strategy. As part of this mission, r/podcasts is curated to promote respectful and on-topic discussions. (If girls were single, they were waiting. I was preparing to become the helpmeet my dream guy was looking for, instead of calling it living my dang life.). Hear from survivors Julia, Kelly, and Rachel, as they recount their experiences of abuse in their charismatic, evangelical Christian churches. Shes into Young Living. Its close. We dont belong to sin or the world. I know where my heart was. !" bc wanna Google the MF. So, that felt oddly relieving. Was recently suggested the podcast Something was Wrong by a good friend, and wow is it GOOD! Our hearts. For those who are in recovery and by some chance are reading this, gosh I hope this stream of raw consciousnesshelps in some way. It makes no sense to outside observers; it can even appear counterintuitive to fight fear with stillness. It doesnt have to impress anyone elsewhich I wrestle with. Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships. If its a hectic one or has something Im not looking forward to, Ill reach further and look for a break in the clouds to set my sights on, and let that ray of light keep me focused. I have nothing to lose by sharing His story but maybe some pride, which I have to kill. Ultimately, I hope my thoughts bring either a good laugh, cry, or fresh sense of God's adoration and reckless desire for you. Im 1 of the ppl screaming "whats his real name? Looking around, Im surrounded by incredible people to champion and go to war for me. The more conversations Im having with people in similar situations, the more amazed I am by their resiliency and strength. Its easier to choose the less flashy accessories, the more practical car, the simpler outfit because I can hide from scrutiny. For those who are unfamiliar with psychopathsand narcissists, this is one way they succeed while minimizing damage visible to the public eye. Show Notes: I encourage her to think more carefully about how she describes the intersection of sex, gender, and abuse, to consider having male stories of abuse, and more LGBT+ stories. *Content warning: emotional and sexual abuse. Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-Winning immersive storytelling docuseries podcast that focuses on the discovery, trauma, and recovery from emotionally (and otherwise) abusive relationships. I have a hard time separating my ideas of others dreams for me vs. my dreams for myself. (Many of which Im still figuring out a year later.) 15. This is the most insane story I have ever heard. (Do you feel the spiritual side of it? Seriously, DONT. Calling them accomplices in the oppression of a victim and pointing out that theyre devaluing the victims life in favor of the abusers might get me some backlash and Im just not ready or qualified to enter that ring.). (Sorry to barge onto ur Twitter but just searched "something was wrong podcast" & saw ur tweet) Without it, as Scripture says, we die out. S1 E1: There Were No Red Flags. Hot, fresh fury colored my entire day in a way I couldnt shake as easily before. Need I share more lies, though? In public, he was extremely high-energy and intense. There is no physical standard for beauty outlined by God. Since I was still healing and my sense of self-worth was mid-restoration, I couldnt feel a proper anger over what someone had done or tried to do to me. When Im desperate for something, I remember Him and draw close. I was watching Richard Grannons youtube video on Covert Narcissists and found it to be one of the most well-rounded explanations Ive seen. Just started #SomethingWasWrong season 5, & it's people sharing their experiences from toxic churches/modern Christian cults& more & more I'm feeling led to write a book about my own 5-year journey in what was essentially a cult, how it damaged me, & how I finally broke free. I was born in Colorado and am very thankful to call Denver home with my wife & dog. I definitely was emotional and thankful, but they still talk about the grand scale of his reaction and how uncomfortable it made everyone. I opened my Bible and was just kinda flitting through Isaiah with these but where is the joy, God? thoughts, and my eyeballs landed on Isaiah 55:12. This episode comes out for free on Thursday, March 9th 2023. It was a miraculous instance of God opening the eyes of one of His own whod been deceived into choosing a dangerous situation. For the first time, I ignored this person and put it in the cart without even knowing why, because I never buy prints. Playlists. I never had to obtain the "approval" of my sister -- it's just a lot of input for this poor woman and a lot to satisfy. If we see what He does: Him in us? See Episode 8 of the Something Was Wrong Podcast: There is Much to Confess.. like seriously awful. I know all too well that I couldnt have rescued myself. I cant continue to sacrifice words Ive been given at the risk of having them misunderstood. As my faithful poet Chris Martin says, Lights will guide you home.. It wreaks havoc on your mind, emotions and even your physical body. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. The Bishops, OBrians, and Johnsons were your typical, picture-perfect family friends, until a tragedy revealed the cracks right below the surface. Weddings ARE expensive, after all. Clarity kept me focused and I knew what hed said. In past blog sites I wrote about random funny stories or my process with the Lord, but I started this page while recovering from narcissistic and sociopathic abuse. My family was never like this but these people remind me of a lot of families I grew up with at church. As Iridian begins her new job, the workplace gossip and odd interactions circle closer and closer to home. If you are not interested whatsoever in chemical-free living or getting toxins out of your home products, dont click the Young Living tabs. You dont say! Forward to that night lying in bed: I was contemplating the existence of mankind (I know; Im not kidding) and I straight up wondered, Why? Was there truly nothing but you, God, and you decided all of THIS was a good idea? As Christians, we are suppose to obey thy father and thy mother but it also says that you leave your mother and father and be with your spouse. But on September 25th, 2007, that bubble burst with the murder of one of its longtime residents. We belong to Him. Narcissism 101, my friends. When Id do it back to him (to subconsciously see how he liked it), hed pout and give me the silent treatment for a while. Let me recklessly forget about my weakness as my awareness of Your strength grows. As part of this mission, r/podcasts is curated to promote respectful and on-topic discussions. More and more of us are waking up at our own pace, shaking off the itll go back to normal soon complacency that gives us permission to coast through times of unrest and wait it out.. Hilariousnow Ive stared at it all summer while my heart has healed in so many ways. Listen to Season 9 of Something Was Wrong now and subscribe to hear the next chapter of their story every Thursday. This makes so much sense to me. What I didnt know was even with everything I was feeling, I was still a little numb, and safely so. Their stories will be told in an episodic format meaning more inspiring stories and less cliffhangers. If we didnt hear that message at crucial times from a parent or similar figure, well seek it elsewhere. There used to be a grating feeling in my gut that I was destined to attend womens luncheons and exchange flower pots until a young single pastor arrived and gave me my purpose. Youre loose-lipped! as if it was obvious and went about his business. Last night my mind was jam-packed with the horrific events I cant stop reading about. Genuinely curious), especially in light of his critical comments on alcohol. I went about my bachelorette party the next day ready to have fun, with no idea that Sunday held the exposure of massive lies. We would have this wedding. 3 for any nerds curious.) Until the week before her wedding when she learned - something was wrong. For some reason this of all things pierced my heart. For various reasons, we often try to convince ourselves that we deserve less than our dreams. A dog I adored (he physically abused and terrorized her), a home I admired daily, roommates who made life a blast and a neighborhood I would sit and breathe deep in. 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